I’m a big believer in self-help. And I’m a big believer in “thinking outside the box.” One of the best ways to solve challenges you’re having is to think outside the box. Sometimes it’s difficult to recognize the box you’ve built for yourself though. We often mistake our limiting beliefs (boxes) for reality. Here’s what to do…
When To Get Help And When To Tackle A Problem Yourself
A lot of times people ask me whether or not they should tackle a particular issue themselves. Here, we’ll talk about when it’s useful to work on yourself, what issues you can deal with yourself and when it might be a good idea to go to a professional hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner.
I personally don’t think it matters so much what the problem is. To me, the important factor is whether or not you can get out of your own mental and emotional space in order to find solutions. Here’s what I mean…
Where we’re stuck in life most likely has to do with our constellation of beliefs, feelings and abilities related to that context. Let me give you an example. Here’s an email a friend of mine received about a guy (I’ll call him Sam) who’d been having problems finding a relationship…
“I’ve tried everything multiple times but I just can’t seem to get a woman to go on a date. I’m 38 now and feel hopeless when it comes to meeting women.
I’ve tried asking more than 15 women out on dates and none have said yes. They all make excuses. Am I so unlikable?
No matter how many times I try it doesn’t work. I tried on line dating services and it doesn’t work. I’m a good guy and I’m what you might call average looking. But I gave up the idea of meeting a woman years ago because women just don’t like me. I don’t have any problem approaching women and asking them out but they always turn me down. It seems to me to be an impossible situation.”
Now, most people would give this guy advice about what to do. But let me ask you this…
How likely is he to succeed with his current attitude, his beliefs and the feelings he has about meeting someone? How likely would any advice be to get through to him?
What Does This Have To Do With Self-Help
Well, you can do affirmations, for instance. But if you have a belief that runs counter to those affirmations, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle. The fellow I mentioned could stand in front of the mirror and say, “Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better at meeting women.” His mind would then answer back, “Dude, you know that’s impossible.”
The problem comes when your goals go against beliefs you have inside you.
Self-Hypnosis For Re-Programming
With hypnosis, what we want to do is bypass the part of the mind that evaluates whether something is true or not and get the messages to the part of the mind that’s responsible for maintaining our beliefs. If we can get the message past the analytical gatekeeper and get the mind to accept it, we’ve taken a big step.
If a person can do that in self-hypnosis, then self-help will probably do the trick.
What If You Can’t Get Out Of Your Own Way?
If you’re using a self-help technique and you can’t get out of your own way, then you might want to consider some professional help. In other words, if you find yourself defaulting back to old patterns, beliefs and feelings, what you’re doing probably isn’t working.
Also, a pro can help you recognize beliefs that are getting in your way that you may not even realize you have! And professionals might have multiple techniques for changing patterns. And that’s good because different things work for different people.
PS: There are lots of cases when you should consider talking to a doctor or a mental health professional before you start a self-help regimen. As an example, insomnia can be caused by an underlying medical condition and it would be best to rule those conditions out (or treat them) before you decided to go the self-help route.