How To Make ‘Bad’ People Go Away

Beware of Poisonous Snakes

In my recent post, You Are The Center Of The Universe, I wrote…

“I was talking with a good friend the other day. He has a theory about how you attract people into your life. His theory is that everything that comes into your life is a reflection of some aspect of yourself.”

I’ve found it extremely useful to act as if that’s true. Why? Well, I figure if someone bugs me, they are really showing me an aspect of myself that I don’t like. The universe mirrors us back to ourselves.

That Means ‘Bad’ People Are You!

I know. It’s a bummer. Plus, it may not be true. But this idea has had good results in my life. A negative emotion that gets triggered by someone does so because you have that trigger. They are a reflection of that part of you. Their function, in terms of their relationship to you, is to show you that aspect of yourself.

At the very least, it seems like a good idea to me to take care of unpleasant emotions that come up in your life. Look at it this way…

Emotion = Important

One of the ways the mind categorizes things is by emotion. The more emotion contained in a context, the more important it seems to the mind. So, if your mother-in-law really gets on your nerves, it’s important!

Wouldn’t it be nice if things that weren’t so nice weren’t important? How do we make them so? We resolve them in ourselves.

This Means That You Can Get Rid Of Those Annoying People

When you resolve those negative emotions in yourself, those people can’t trigger those emotions anymore. They then become less important and typically drop off your radar. Even if they’re still around, they won’t be that important any more. You see, relationships are systems. When one element of a system changes (the way you are responding to them, for instance), the relationship changes.

Give it a whirl,
Keith

About The Author:

Keith Livingston is the main instructor for Hypnosis 101. Keith has been studying hypnosis since he was a boy and doing hypnosis & NLP training since 1997.

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  1. It’s ‘State Management’ and I’m the person in control. So easy to go inside and find maybe 10 fun and resourceful anchors and reanchor them all in the same place. Person X starts in so I just fire my anchors. Life can be exceedingly good when one knows how to play the game. Keith is an excellent teacher so you may want to pay attention to what he writes.

  2. WHY THE BAD PEOPLE GO AWAY scenario does not work …
    If I’m a night owl (working graveyard shift) and I feel annoyed by someone whose waking me up bright and early in the morning … disrupting my sleep so she can sing … it doesn’t mean the early song bird is bad or I’m bad for being a night owl and want to sleep in … it only means we are DIFFERENT from each other. The annoyance merely gives more clarity about who I am (and who the song bird is not) and why we should not live together. Acknowledging that I don’t like to be woken up by wee-morning chirping will not make the song bird stop singing or make “bad people go away.” I also don’t think it’s necessarily desirable that I start getting up at 6 a.m. (making myself ineffective at my night time job thanks to lack of sleep) merely to accomodate that song bird or to make such singing seem less annoying.

    I think it’s important to acknowledge what is annoying so you can make choices (e.g., where night owls don’t try to share the same house with song birds). The key to any difficult relationship is minimizing time with that individual who may be your opposite/irritant – and avoiding scenarios where the negative trigger is activated. I fully support people taking charge of their relationships and managing how much time they are willing to spend with incorrigible mother-in-laws. If she’s a control freak – then maybe discomfort can be avoided by always meeting her in public where she’s not in a position of authority (remove her from the location where she weilds the most negative power or dominating triggers).

    I agree – everyone should examine their feelings behind their hot buttons. Once they do that – they can come up with a possible solution for honoring their feelings, perhaps by limiting how much time they spend with the irritating so-called “bad person.”

    1. Tami,
      If you become so that the singing no longer irritates you, that person will at least partially drop off your radar. At a minimum, that aspect of their behavior will not bother you as much.

      Certainly, we can all attempt to avoid situations where negative feelings get triggered. I do that myself, at times. In my experience however, the universe often provides us with multiple opportunities to solve that issue in ourselves. In other words, you can run but you can’t hide.

      And I like to think that resolving and letting go negative feelings does more to honor them than avoiding situations that might trigger them. Of course, that’s just my two cents.
      Keith

  3. Keith ,

    U can say more simple ,its all about “the secret”.

    “the secret ” its the law of attraction .

    The law of attraction its all about thinking.
    When you think positive ,the universe will arrange in the way you think,
    say YES not NO ,its a big difference .
    Ask for everythig ,love, money etc ,and you wil recive it ,this its all about.
    thanks.

    1. Andrei,
      I believe, if you read carefully, you’ll find I’m saying something different.

      Combating automatic, emotional responses with “positive thinking,” is not the fastest nor most effective way to go.
      And many people will try to have positive thoughts and find that they have a feeling that something would be wrong with getting what they are thinking about. In that case, what does the universe listen to? The lip service or the emotion? In my opinion, you’ve got to resolve that negative feeling or the ‘law of attraction’ is going to attract something different than what you’re thinking. It will attract (again, in my opinion) both sides of your conflict.

      In other words, if you’re putting out to the universe that you find a loving mate but you have an internal feeling that you don’t deserve it, you’ll likely attract someone who fulfills both of those promises.
      Keith

  4. Your comment on system theory is right on. That said, my way of dealing with difficult people is to use whatever they do as an anchor that takes me to curiosity rather than annoyance. Works well for me.

  5. You Know when someone is REALLY bugging me, I just ask myself
    this question ” Is this person really trying to make me upset by doing what their
    doing ?” or are they just being who they are ? Once you accept that making you crazy
    you is NOT their TRUE intention, It makes it easier to just let it go.
    Maybe ask them to sing your fav song in the morning ????
    See Ya,
    Connie

  6. First we must recognize the meaning of incorrigible: incapable of being corrected or amended: as shall never change and can not be reasoned with. So the only rational method in dealing with such sorts is discipline and organization on the individuals part who has to deal with the mother in law per say or anyone who has incorrigible traits. While this is not as easy task more so once these characters are family members and living within the same surroundings its not impossible once you as the person interacting uses firmness, regardless of depravity or the incorrigible and unruliness within these types and get a hold of ones sanity to be able to cope. It can be done!

    L.M.C.

      1. Good day Keith in regard to your reply above: That’s just it its not an act the happiness we seek is not of this earth its above and that inner happiness to live by is inner peace alive. Many people think money is happiness. Learning to love ourselves is a great command! While its ok to not like the actions of others or even myself, I can’t change anyone only myself. Some people don’t like the truth about themselves they find it offensive, I found it set me free of my haughty self.

        Shalom, Keith
        L.M.C.

        Nehemiah 8:10

  7. Thanks so much for this article. This makes sense. I have very intense emotions and people are always trying to talk to me. I feel so uncomfortable, I have to yell to get my point across because they misjudge me by judging me by my appearance. Have a great day.

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